See something say something
What is bystander intervention
More than 90% of sexual misconduct is committed by someone the person knew. 60% of assaults occur in the home of either the victim or the perpetrator.
In many of the circumstances that can lead to sexual assault, there's a high probability that bystanders - friends, teammates, classmates, family or just everyday people who happen to be walking by - will witness something that doesn't look quite right.
- You're at a bar and one of your friends has had too much to drink. A man starts dancing with her and is about to lead her out, even though she doesn't look coherent.
- While at an apartment party, you notice people being told to drink from a particular container. You overhear someone comment that the container contains something "special," but you're unsure what that means.
- You're hanging out with your friends and one of them mentions how he can't wait for the party on Thursday night so that he can get some of your female friends "wasted" and have sex with as many of them as possible.
- You see someone in the bathroom after a hard night of partying and they cannot stop throwing up.
If you ever find yourself in a situation described above, take the initiative to step in and intervene. Although it can be awkward or inconvenient to confront a friend or peer, your action may remove a potential situation of harm, along with all of the resulting physical, emotional, academic and even criminal consequences for the people involved.
-
Here are the top reasons why bystanders often do not intervene when faced with a potentially risky situation:
- They are not optimistic about what is going on.
- They don't think it is any of their business.
- They are afraid of their safety or reputation.
- No one else seems to be concerned.
- They don't know what to do.
-
Here are some things that you as an active bystander should keep in mind:
- Be aware of comments and behaviors from others that would indicate they were intent on having sexual intercourse even if the partner was unwilling.
- Notice if someone is getting ready to have sexual intercourse with an incapacitated partner.
- Don't pressure or encourage friends to drink or have sex as often or with as many people as possible.
- Don't joke about sexual assault; comments and jokes meant to "ease the tension" or "just kidding around" can trivialize the severity of the behavior.
- Know your level of comfort with conversations and talk about sexual behavior. Don't be afraid to state your position if you find groups or individuals who talk about sexual relationships that are not in sync with how you feel or the type of relationship you want.
- Many perpetrators are unaware that what they have done is a crime. (They may say something like, "Yeah, that was messed up, but it was fun.) Let them know that what they did was not right and was against the law.
Remember: we are all responsible for the well-being of our campus community. If you see a situation that poses a risk for sexual or interpersonal misconduct, step in and speak up!
How to be an effective bystander
Whether you're at a party, hanging out with friends around campus or at a bar, you have the power to prevent friends and peers from falling into situations of harm.
-
If you're faced with a situation where you feel you might need to intervene, here are some questions to ask yourself:
- What are the benefits of intervening in this situation? What are the costs? What are the prices of NOT interfering?
- How would you feel if you were the victim in this situation? What would you be thinking? What would you want others to do for you?
- How would you react if this was happening to a member of your family?
- What does staying silent communicate in this situation?
- What can you do to make the intervention safe and effective?
-
Separate
- Step in directly and separate the persons involved.
- If you feel comfortable, let them know your concerns and reasons for intervening in the situation.
- Be a friend - let them know that you're stepping in because you care about them.
Recruit
- Let friends know what's going on and recruit their help.
- Step in as a group and separate the persons involved.
Distract
- Use a distraction to re-direct the focus of one person elsewhere.
- Use phrases such as "Hey, I need to talk to you" or "Hey, let's go somewhere else."
- If you need to commit a "party foul" like spilling your drink on one of the people you're trying to separate.
Support
- If the situation looks unsafe, call law enforcement for assistance.
- Let the authority figure know your concerns and stay present until help arrives.
-
Here are some illustrations of successful bystander intervention:
Situation: You're at a bar and one of your friends has had too much to drink. A man starts dancing with her and is about to lead her out, even though she doesn't look coherent.
- Intervention: You approach the couple and tell your friend that you'd like to leave, and make sure she comes home with you.
Situation: While at an apartment party, you notice people being told to drink from a particular container. You overhear someone comment that the container contains something "special," but you're unsure what that means.
- Intervention: You approach the party host and ask what's been mixed in the drink. When you find out its high-content alcohol that's designed to make people pass out without their knowledge, you tell them that they're creating a dangerous situation for everyone at the party and ask them to take the container away.
Situation: You're hanging out with some of your friends, and one of them mentions how he can't wait for the party on Thursday night so that he can get some of your female friends "wasted" and have sex with as many of them as possible.
- Intervention: You confront your friend and tell him that what he's planning to do is not okay and is, in fact, against the law.
Situation: You see someone in the bathroom after a hard night of partying, and they cannot stop throwing up.
- Intervention: You stay with them in the bathroom until you determine that they are okay. If not, call MCC Police for assistance.
Step UP!
Step UP! is a bystander intervention program that educates students to be proactive
in helping others.
Step UP! training will prepare students to identify a situation as a problem and intervene safely, thereby reducing problematic behaviors. The goals for students are:
- Recognize reasons why people may not intervene
- Develop specific intervention skills
- Increase motivation and confidence to help.
- Empower participants to act on their values.
- Create a safer, healthier, more caring environment.
Step UP! aims to positively affect MCC students, employees and the community by utilizing the S.E.E. Model: Safe Responding, Early Intervention and Effective Helping.
- Safe - never put yourself in harms way but talk to someone, make a phone call (911 if necessary) and engage others.
- Early - intervene early before the problem becomes a crisis or disaster.
- Effective - know what to do and how to do it.
Step UP! teaches five decision-making steps:
- Notice the event
- Interpret the event as a problem
- Assume personal responsibility
- Know how to help (safe intervention or seek outside help)
- Implement the help - Step UP!
These skills will not only impact student decision making on campus, but will serve them in the future as they protect family, friends and fellow citizens. These skills are applicable in all environments.